Located in Central BC

Friday, 29 July 2011

Real men don't eat quiche.

Yes there was a book that was published in 1982 with that name. I never read it, but I remember my older sisters talking about it. The fact is that people thought that men were fast losing their masculinity then, what about now? In my opinion, if a man is not as tough or masculine as me, a middle aged woman, then he has, in fact, lost his masculinity.

Sure, I work in forestry and live on a farm. And I know that it wouldn't be appropriate for all men to walk around with their cell phone and leatherman wave on belt clips when they are at an office job. But, a man should at the least have a penknife in their pocket. I mean, c'mon! I carry my change in my jeans pocket, not some wimpy-ass change carrier mini purse, that I have seen "men" pull out at the checkout.

Really, WHAT were you thinking? Yes its time to go to the beach/park/dog walk/mall, I better put my IPAD, wallet, change purse and water bottle in my fanny pack and head out!! Yeah that is so manly - NOT!!!  As for IPADs, blackberries etc, if you can't stick it in your pocket or in a holder on your belt, what the hell are you doing? Do you really need to be tweeting, face booking etc, all the time?
         fb status: LOL, forgot I had my water bottle in my fanny  pack and sat down! LOL it looks like I peed my pants.
        You get the idea.

Real men don't change diapers if there is a female older than 8 years old present.
Real men don't cook unless it involves fire.
Real men don't have water bottles. Ever!
Real men don't know what a window treatment is.
Real men don't walk their dogs in areas where you have to poop scoop.
Real men don't get dehydrated.
Real men like bacon and eggs.
Real men can drive any vehicle. any.
Real men can not just change a tire, but can do all the regular maintenance on a vehicle.
Real men don't wear sun screen.
Real men aren't afraid of energy drinks.
Real men own guns.
Real men never get their hair styled.
Real men don't use a Miami device.
Real men have watched all the Clint Eastwood movies.
Real men know that the TV remote is called the power for a reason.
Real men like chain saws, power tools and air tools. The first instinct for a real man when they pick up a chainsaw is to pretend they are part of the cast for the movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Real men have spent more time deciding what they would do if there was a zombie outbreak than a global flu outbreak.
Real men can ride a horse. and if they fall off they get right back on it again.
Real men drive 1 ton diesel pickups. And they need to even if they live in a little apartment in the city.
Real men don't do yoga or Pilate's. They pump iron.
Real men don't worry that if they are staying up to late, a real man does not have a bedtime.
Real men can do all the basic home repairs including gyproc, plumbing, electrical, heating, roofing and painting.
Real men don't do dishes.
Real men have bedtime snacks.
Real men have real sons.
Real men wear joe boxer underwear, the ones with the reminder to change daily.
Real men don't wear lacoste shirts.
Real men know that Princess Auto is their lifeblood and at any given time "need" about 50 different things from there.
Real men don't do low salt, low sugar, decaffeinated, low fat, high fiber, or vegetable based proteins.
Real men eat hotdogs.
Real men don't understand fashion.
Real men own backhoes, bulldozers and tractors. And if they don't they want to and could think of a thousand uses for a backhoe to improve their life in their condo.
Real men don't go on bus tours. If he isn't driving, it's not on.
Real men don't fuss about weeds in their lawn, but recognize the need for a ride-em lawnmower regardless of lawn size.
Real men don't watch dramas or chick flicks.
Real men don't prefer Picard over James T. Kirk.
Real men don't shop for their own clothes, they just magically appear in the correct dresser drawers.
Real men have lighters, lots of them.
Real men know that a tiger torch will warm up that big piece of equipment and if there is a chance of catching the piece of equipment on fire they don't care.
Real men that early on in their lives made a commitment to the brand VW won't change their minds on it, and insist they prefer to drive around dressed in full winter gear in the winter.
Real men don't wear pajamas.
Real men don't ask for directions when they are driving.
Real men don't read instruction manuals.
Real men know how to smoke a cigar.

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